I call “Blackout”

“I drank so much that I couldn’t remember what happened afterwards, except I woke up in a stranger’s bedroom surrounded by empty condom wrappers and a guy snoring loudly next to me.”

The alcoholic will often claim “blackout”.  We are supposed to take this as evidence that the drinker is compulsive and unable to control their intake.  Excessive drinking to the point of memory loss is a symptom of the disease.  After all, why would someone put themselves in that kind of situation intentionally?

In fact, the reason is simple.  People put themselves in sexually risky situations all the time.  And they do so with or without the help of alcohol.  Some people do it because they are insecure about their appearance, and being wanted by another person provides validation.  Some do it because they are terrified of getting older, or are desperate for human contact.  In all cases they are hoping to find “the one”, but settle for something less for the night, and end up ashamed of their behavior.  They prefer not to remember it.  Claiming “blackout” provides an easy excuse to forget about it, and not be held accountable by others for their poor decisions.

It’s one thing to wake up next to a fat chick after a night of heavy drinking.  It’s quite another to make out with her sober — and for others to see you doing it.  Alcohol reduces our inhibitions.  We are apt to think that this is an unintended consequence of drinking.  And perhaps it is for the first couple of times that we imbibe.  But we quickly learn the reality, and in fact many drink expressly for this purpose.  The alcoholic, of course, will prefer that you think he drinks because of a compulsion for the taste and smell of booze.  But it is usually a compulsion for sex.

There is a crystal meth epidemic in many gay populations.  It is a public health problem because many men have unprotected sex while high.  So, we might think that these are men who are addicted, and reckless behavior is an unfortunate consequence.  In fact, it is the opposite: reckless sex is the purpose of getting high.  Many men will repeatedly get drunk, then get high, then scour the internet for sex.  The high increases the pleasure and reduces one’s natural level of disgust.  So it’s possible to perform sexually with someone you would never consider otherwise.  Of course, afterwards there is much shame about the encounter, so they claim “blackout” to try to forget it.  (They want you to believe that they are ashamed because they are ashamed of being gay — internalized homophobia.  But in fact, they are ashamed because the partner is unappealing.  If the partner was good looking, they’d be proudly holding his hand walking down Santa Monica Boulevard!)  And they repeat this behavior in the hopes that one day they will strike gold, and meet the man of their dreams.  More likely, they will contract HIV.

In the movie Ted (2012), one of the characters (Patrick Warburton) claims to be experiencing blackouts and not remembering anything except getting really drunk and then waking up with bruises and finding texts on his cell phone about meeting someone in a hidden area.  This happens repeatedly.  Marky Mark suggests he’s into gay aggression, but he responds, “I don’t think so.  I don’t remember what happened.  I blacked out.”  By the end of the movie we see him walking around a party holding hands with a handsome man.

The Big Book promotes the blackout myth repeatedly, but in all cases the blackout occurs for shameful behavior that the person would naturally want to forget, although it is usually unspecified.  For example, in Personal Story #10 – Tightrope – a gay man describes regular blackouts:

For me, the idea of being homosexual – the word gay wasn’t then in common use – was unthinkable.  Drinking helped me to forget and evade.  Also, it provided some cover….  The struggle continued throughout years of unsuccessful dating and pretending.  When I eventually decided to act on my desires, the guilt and the shame — as well as the drinking — increased…. After a few years I was a nightly blackout drinker…. at times I awakened battered and with my watch or wallet missing, or in the company of strangers whose names I did not remember and did not want to know.

Obviously he wants to have it both ways.  He wants you to think that he’s getting drunk in order to overcome the shame of being gay (although elsewhere in the story he claims to have a lover).  This is society’s fault.  Your fault!  But in reality he’s ashamed of the guys he’s hooking up with.  If the guy was cute, he’d remember every second of it.  And brag about it to his friends.

Later in the story he claims to be blackout drinking entirely at home.  And yet he’s still waking up with bruises.  Are we to believe he’s staying home?  Even if he believes it himself, he can hardly be expected to accurately account for his whereabouts in such a state.  Are we to believe he’s drinking because of an addiction to alcohol?  It seems clear that he’s so desperate for a little action that he’ll take some risks.  Keep in mind, a good alcoholic is trained to exaggerate his level of drinking and risk taking.

If someone claims “blackout” at the holiday party, you can be sure they made a pass at someone who they already knew was not interested.  And they had wanted to do this for a while, and thought about it even before the first sip.

I call BS on “blackout”.

62 thoughts on “I call “Blackout””

  1. Alcohol interferes with the NMDA receptors in the brain that transmit glutamate, which carries signals between neurons. Alcohol affects some neurons differently than others — it inhibits some and later activates others, causing them to manufacture steroids that inhibit memory formation.

    The steroids produced by the alcohol-affected neurons inhibit the brain’s long-term potentiation (LTP), a process that usually strengthens the connections between neurons which is critical for learning and memory. The alcohol-induced steroids interfere with synaptic plasticity in the brain’s hippocampus, the underlying mechanism of memory formation.

    And this is where you come in and go “Yea, whatever doc you just like made out with some fat chick or whatever”

    1. Actually two top blackout researchers, George Koob and Aaron White, agree with me. You should do a little research before spouting your own pet theories as scientific fact. Just because you know a few terms from a neurology textbook doesn’t make you an expert. Nora Volkow agrees with me too but can’t publicly acknowledge it for political reasons.

      1. ‘Ha of course you didn’t bring a camera! Even though the guy who left a comment just last night did exactly that. (AUGUST 11, 2014 AT 3:34 AM). Of course that is PURE COINCIDENCE.”

        No, it was an idea. Somebody suggested it, we all thought it was a good idea, myself included. but unfortunately we just never did it. I wish we did though.

      2. “Well you just made my point thank you. :-)”

        HAHA! what point?? your “point” in a nutshell is that you don’t think blackouts are real because you don’t want to. You offer no evidence whatsoever.

        I notice how ou ignored the fact that sometimes I acted no differently in a black out then I would sober and instead latched onto the funny, silly stuff I’d do.

      3. Wishing you had proof of a blackout shows that you wanted the experience of a blackout. That’s called wishful thinking.

        Wishing you had proof of a blackout is not proof of a blackout. That’s called bad science.

        The burden is on you to prove that this paranormal state exists. All you’ve shown is that you have lots of reasons that you WANT it to be true. So pardon me if therefore I’m a little more than skeptical of your claims.

        And you failed to address the “coincidence” that someone just earlier today said he had video of his blackout (which he lost). Even though this article has been up for years and has so far attracted little attention. Suddenly you guys come piling in with your AA boilerplate propaganda claiming you’re not in AA.

        I mean are you guys serious????

      4. “Wishing you had proof of a blackout shows that you wanted the experience of a blackout. That’s called wishful thinking.

        Wishing you had proof of a blackout is not proof of a blackout. That’s called bad science.

        The burden is on you to prove that this paranormal state exists. All you’ve shown is that you have lots of reasons that you WANT it to be true. So pardon me if therefore I’m a little more than skeptical of your claims.

        And you failed to address the “coincidence” that someone just earlier today said he had video of his blackout (which he lost). Even though this article has been up for years and has so far attracted little attention. Suddenly you guys come piling in with your AA boilerplate propaganda claiming you’re not in AA.

        I mean are you guys serious????”

        First of all, I went to an AA meeting once and I felt like it was bullshit. Maybe it works for some people but it certainly wasn’t going to do anything for me.

        As far as this “coincidence” with the other guy that videotaped his blackout I don’t know what you want me to say. I’d imagine that most people that have had multiple blackouts would at some point want to videotape it to see just exactly what the hell is going on.

        As far as wishing I had proof of a blackout, no it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are real but it does poke some holes in your theory that people only claim to blackout when they do something they’re ashamed of. Why would someone want evidence of them doing something they’re oh so ashamed of?

      5. “I went to an AA meeting once and I felt like it was bullshit”

        Well that is my whole point! It IS bullshit. Thank you 🙂

        (I’m starting to get a sinking feeling that you’re going to start defending it. Well you will lose that one too.)

      6. “Because you did some deeply shameful things while ‘blacked out’ and when someone challenged you on that claim you took up proving it with a tenacious vengeance. And when someone in your homegroup mentioned this article, you and friends got scared because it undermined the plot twists of your cherished drunkalogs so you decided to attack with a tenacious vengeance. And when you are discovered for the frauds that you are, you first deny it and then admit it and then run away like the scared stupid pagans that you are.”

        Wow, you are a fucking nutjob. I’m not in AA you crazy asshole. And I never did anything shameful while blacked out. And what is this nonsense “first deny it and then admit it” haha what did I deny and then admit? what mental illnesses have you been diagnosed with it?

      7. You come on here today defending blackouts and you denied that you knew that guy who just last night said he lost a video of himself in a blackout, who ran away humiliated when I exposed his lies. And now you admit he’s your friend.

        You claim not to be a member of AA and then you admit he’s your AA buddy.

        You first said your blackout was “the most mundane non-event ever” and then claim it was so funny you wanted to video tape it.

        You claimed to have no motivation to believe in blackouts and then admit you really wanted to prove it, even though it is ‘established scientific fact’.

        You are such a blatant liar. I may be crazy but I’m not a liar.

      8. You come on here today defending blackouts and you denied that you knew that guy who just last night said he lost a video of himself in a blackout, who ran away humiliated when I exposed his lies. And now you admit he’s your friend.

        You claim not to be a member of AA and then you admit he’s your AA buddy.

        You first said your blackout was “the most mundane non-event ever” and then claim it was so funny you wanted to video tape it.

        You claimed to have no motivation to believe in blackouts and then admit you really wanted to prove it, even though it is ‘established scientific fact’.

        You are such a blatant liar. I may be crazy but I’m not a liar.”

        Not only are you crazy but you also appear to be stupid. Let me explain everything thing to you as clearly as possible so your severely dysfunctional brain can comprehend it.

        I do not, nor have I ever claimed, to know anybody that has commented on this blog. When I said me and “my AA buddies” I was MOCKING you. It’s called sarcasm you moron. look it up.

        I have had SEVERAL blackouts. I said this many times. I said that SOME of these blackouts were mundane non-events and that SOME of the other blackouts were quite eventful indeed. all this I base on things that people told me the next.

        I wanted to tape one of my blackouts not to prove their existence for science you fucking dolt but to hopefully capture myself doing something memorable so I could watch it later and laugh.

        Jesus fucking Christ.

      9. You first said “it was the most mundane non-event ever” to ‘poke a hole’ in my theory and then you sexed it up only when you realized that you needed a motivation to record it to bring a camera. At least you are getting closer to the truth: you’ve done many shameful things and then claimed blackout because you didn’t want to remember. Well of course you do.

        The hurling of names from your very first post and insults and accusations of mental illness are signature AA ‘Peace and Serenity’ ™. Thank you for that demonstration.

      10. the only thing you have proved in this entire blog is that you are mentally ill. all I want to know is why you’ve chosen addiction to focus your insanity on. what happened to you in the past? did you have a parent that was an alcoholic, a girlfriend that blew some guy and blamed it on a blackout the next day? what happened to you little buddy

      11. no I don’t know that guy who made that comment. are you happy? you’re just going to call me a liar anyway and say he’s one my AA buddies because you’re a paranoid schizophrenic. are there AA members in the bushes?

        I read that comment by the way. He related his story and you then you commented back thanks for proving my point. and that was the end of it. what you refer to as “humiliating him and sending him running away in shame” what a fucking whacko lol

      12. I see so you were just cruising the internet and found yourself right exactly on this page. No google, no search engine, no search terms. Right here. On this page. Of all pages. Where a guy just posted about a blackout. Who first claimed that it is perfectly mundane and simple and explainable scientifically and he ‘honestly didn’t remember’. And then after I questioned further he blatantly admitted he was ashamed and didn’t want to know exactly what he did. Which was exactly my point so I thanked him.

        And on this page where people rarely comment, you come along some 12 hours later (and go *directly* to it) and then post a remarkably similar story. Which was full of inconsistencies. Like the first poster. And then claim you don’t know the guy.

        Is that right?

        Again. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🙂

      13. I’ve answered all you questions but you keep dodging mine. what mental illnesses have you been diagnosed with, what medication are you taking or rather what medication SHOULD you be taking and why have you chose the topic of addiction of all things to focus or illness on?

        these are not jokes or attempts at insults we both know damn well you are chemically imbalanced.

      14. “I never found out the diagnosis because they always turn in their license and retire right after the visit.

        OK your turn. What TV show?”

        steve wilkos

      15. “I never found out the diagnosis because they always turn in their license and retire right after the visit.

        OK your turn. What TV show?”

        and what happened in your past that made you focus your mental illness on addiction?

      16. just to be clear do you think when people say they blacked out that they are flat out telling a bold faced lie and that they remember everything they did clear as crystal or that the blackout is all in their head like a psychosomatic thing that they have convinced themselves of?

      17. Just to be clear I know you and your buddy are bald faced liars and anyone would be a fool to believe a word you guys say. Save your blackout stories for your meetings.

    2. “I see so you were just cruising the internet and found yourself right exactly on this page. No google, no search engine, no search terms. Right here. On this page. Of all pages. Where a guy just posted about a blackout. Who first claimed that it is perfectly mundane and simple and explainable scientifically and he ‘honestly didn’t remember’. And then after I questioned further he blatantly admitted he was ashamed and didn’t want to know exactly what he did.

      And on this page where people rarely comment, you come along some 12 hours later (and go *directly* to it) and then post a remarkably similar story. Which was full of inconsistencies. Like the first poster. And then claim you don’t know the guy.

      Is that right?

      Again. Thank you, thank you, thank you. :-)”

      no I saw somebody on TV acting like blackouts aren’t real and was shocked. people think blackouts are fake? so I then specifically googled something to the effect of “blackout myth” or “blackouts aren’t real” and thankfully you seem to be the only whackjob arguing this .

      nothing i said had any inconsistencies. i also see no comments here where anybody claims that “blackouts are mundane and simple and explainable scientifically and he ‘honestly didn’t remember’. And then after I questioned further he blatantly admitted he was ashamed and didn’t want to know exactly what he did. ”

      but then again you have proven here that you have a tenuous grasp on reality at best. you put words in peoples mouths, take things they say out of context and twist them around to fit your argument.

      1. “somebody on tv”?? What TV show? Or are you having those lucid hallucinations again? Or are you having a blackout? Are you drinking again?

        Just search “honestly don’t remember” on this page and you’ll see the entire thread. 🙂

    3. Just because AA didn’t work for you.. You shouldn’t judge others . If what they’re doing is changing their lives for the better them so be it !! And people go and stay in the rooms of AA at as young as 14 now am stay for life.. Relapse is only a part of se people recovery…… Btw you are an awesome writer you should put ur energy and skills into something positive !!! Just food for thought:)

  2. I don’t even know where to begin with this mind boggling stupid article. Blackouts don’t happen and your best piece of evidence seems to be “Nah, don’t buy it” well, with THAT airtight logic…. I’ve been out drinking, woken up the next day, not remembered a thing and when friends told me what happened it was the most mundane non-event ever. I talked a little, drank, cracked a couple jokes and that was it. I was drinking in a friend’s living room one time, blacked out, and suddenly was standing in his kitchen. Didn’t make out with any fat chicks in between as far as I know.

    Not to mention blackouts are a scientific FACT. Why don’t poke around the internet a little bit. As another commenter pointed out a lot of neurologists have studied the brain functions during blackouts. you’re a putz.

    1. Blackouts are not a scientific fact. They are pure speculation by people who are pushing the addiction agenda. There is absolutely zero proof for it. Claims of blackouts are simply attempts to deny the shameful memory. At least a “Wow I really drank a lot last night.” If you go into the events in more detail the reason for denial will be obvious. Instead you insist that you have a disease that makes you drink and get drunk and crack a few jokes which you don’t remember (too bad I bet they were gems) and then claim that you nearly died from your drinking disease. Sorry I don’t buy it.

      Of course you now claim you’re not a member of AA. You are like rats jumping off a sinking ship.

      1. Are you schizo? Do you hear voices? Are you confusing me with someone else? I never claimed that I nearly died from a drinking disease, never insisted that I had any disease, and i never said i was in AA. I’m just a guy that has had way too many in the past and have blacked out on occasion. Sometimes i (apparently) did outrageous things but nothing I’m ashamed of mind you and sometimes i did nothing eventful at all. What’s so shameful about hanging out, making conversation, and going to bed that i have to go into some crazy deep denial?

      2. “I deny it! I don’t remember it!” That’s called the ‘flight’ response. Of course you didn’t know it had a name because you never advanced that far in your science studies.

        Swim little rat, swim.

      3. “I deny it! I don’t remember it!” That’s called the ‘flight’ response. Of course you didn’t know it had a name because you never advanced that far in your science studies.

        Swim little rat, swim.”

        Haha! WOAH you’re a little nutjob, aren’t you? Please explain to me what’s so soul shattering about the time i got up and walked into my friends kitchen that i have to deny remember doing it. And even the times i did do crazy stuff i was never ashamed, it was always funny stuff! I was mad that i couldn’t remember it. In fact me and my friends had the idea to bring a camera with us next time we drank so if i blacked out we could record it.

      4. So the purpose and intention of your drinking was to black out. “I did what?? No way dude!!!!!”

        Congrats you had friends. We believe you. You are so cool. Now please spare us the frat house drunkalogs. They love that shit at meetings but out here no one cares.

      5. “So the purpose and intention of your drinking was to black out. “I did what?? No way dude!!!!!”

        Congrats you had friends. We believe you. You are so cool. Now please spare us the frat house drunkalogs. They love that shit at meetings but out here no one cares.”

        congrats you had friends? that’s all you have to say? I was never in a frat house and blacking out was not the reason I drank. by the way. the stories were usually very amusing though and I’m only ashamed that I couldn’t remember those good, good times. doesn’t that sort of fly in the face of your whole theory that people only claim to blackout to deny doing things there ashamed of? no response to that? just more snarky insults? did you take your meds today?

      6. Blacking out was not the reason you drank. But you brought a camera with you just in case you did. Because supposedly you are really hilarious when that happens, even though you don’t remember it. But that’s not the reason you did it.

        No, you drank because you were desperate to fit in with a bunch of other loser alcoholics who you thought liked you more when you were blitzed, as long as you denied remembering it. Congrats it worked. Sounds like you got in a few good stories too. Such a good alcoholic!

      7. “Blacking out was not the reason you drank. But you brought a camera with you just in case you did. Because supposedly you are really hilarious when that happens, even though you don’t remember it. But that’s not the reason you did it.

        No, you drank because you were desperate to fit in with a bunch of other loser alcoholics who you thought liked you more when you were blitzed, as long as you denied remembering it. Congrats it worked. Sounds like you got in a few good stories too. Such a good alcoholic!”

        No we never ended up bringing a camera it was just an idea we had. And as long as I denied remembering it? Why would I claim to not remember doing something funny? If anything I would lie and go “oh yeah of course I did that! that’s what I do I’m a funny guy!” You’re not making a lot of sense my nutty new friend.

      8. OK I was wrong that being ashamed was the only reason to claim blackout. There’s another reason: if you claim to remember it, the videos just make you look like a jackass.

      9. “OK I was wrong that being ashamed was the only reason to claim blackout. There’s another reason: if you claim to remember it, the videos just make you look like a jackass.”

        And the times I blacked out and NOTHING happened? Like I said several times already, I was once drinking in my friends living room and the next thing I know I was standing in his kitchen. Don’t remember getting up or anything.

      10. Ha of course you didn’t bring a camera! Even though the guy who left a comment just last night did exactly that. (AUGUST 11, 2014 AT 3:34 AM). Of course that is PURE COINCIDENCE.

      11. ““I went to an AA meeting once and I felt like it was bullshit”

        Well that is my whole point! It IS bullshit. Thanks you 🙂

        (I’m starting to get a sinking feeling that you’re going to start defending it. Well you will lose that one too.)”

        Haha I have lost nothing to you, sir. Anyway, I’m definitely not going to defend AA. I’m also not going to start going “fuck AA!!!!” just to appease you.

        Look. I understand where you’re coming from with this blackout stuff. Somebody gets drunk, they spit in your face and call your mother a slut. The next day when confronted they say that they blacked and don’t remember anything. “oh you don’t remember it at all, huh? WELL HOW CONVENIENT” I get it.

        All I can say is that I’ve had blackouts before and my behavior ran the gamut. Sometimes, the next day people would tell me I did crazy stuff and sometimes they told me I acted like a normal person. What reason I would have to lie to you about this is beyond me.

      12. “What reason I would have to lie to you about this is beyond me.”

        Like I said, because you wanted it to be true and it was easy enough to lie about. Plus it gave you something to laugh about with your alcoholic friends during your brief periods of sobriety.

        What reason would you and your AA buddies have to suddenly come on here and defend the mythical blackout and then deny it? That’s what I want to know.

      13. ““What reason I would have to lie to you about this is beyond me.”

        Like I said, because you wanted it to be true and it was easy enough to lie about. Plus it gave you something to laugh about with your alcoholic friends during your brief periods of sobriety.

        What reason would you and your AA buddies have to suddenly come on here and defend the mythical blackout and then deny it? That’s what I want to know.”

        why would I WANT it to be true? I could have easily just said hey remember when I did that? and then had laugh about it with my alcoholic loser friends. Like I said I did NOTHING I was ashamed of or embarrassed by.

        Why would me and “my AA buddies” defends the existence of blackouts? because they’re REAL that’s why.

      14. Because you did some deeply shameful things while ‘blacked out’ and when someone challenged you on that claim you took up proving it with a tenacious vengeance. And when someone in your homegroup mentioned this article, you and friends got scared because it undermined the plot twists of your cherished drunkalogs so you decided to attack with a tenacious vengeance. And when you are discovered for the frauds that you are, you first deny it and then admit it and then run away like the scared stupid pagans that you are.

      15. How can you tell me what “your” experience of seeing the ocean looked like when you have never seen it personally? I wonder how many alcoholics have died because some uneducated idiot tried to convince him that he was just a sinner and needed a salvation. That’s pure bull. Alcoholics are not bad people, they are sick people. And by the way , if you have never experienced a black out , then how can you possibly say they don’t exist? I have had many and can’t be convinced differently. This all very damaging crap. AA has been pulling alcoholics out of the pits of hell for 70 plus years. It also pisses people off that AA do sent publicly speak out against all the controversy.

      16. Many vulnerable people died because some idiot 12 Steppers told them that they were powerless to their disease that’s going to kill them and go home and keep drinking if you don’t believe it. Unfortunately that’s exactly what they did. My web site helps prevent people from falling into your trap.

        Of course, alcoholics are just as dangerous drunk even if they deny their crimes with the claim of ‘blackout’. I suspect you’ve left quite a trail of destruction.

  3. How many self-reported blackouts aren’t really blackouts, but lies told by the person who it happened to as a form of self-protection? Who can say, but it is almost certainly not 0%. Myself, in about 15 years of decently serious drinking, I have had only a few true blackouts, one of note that I still remember (or don’t remember, as the case may be). Plenty of brownouts, where I don’t remember exactly what I was doing but there was at least the perception of time lost. But the one blackout incident…that was like a film editor in my brain just snipped out a piece of my memory and sewed it back together. I honestly don’t remember what happened, it was like when I had general anesthesia for my wisdom teeth when I was 19 or so. Blackouts do happen…but to me, they have been extremely rare. Maybe that’s just me though, all I am saying is that they are not completely made up, or at the very least based on a drinking phenomenon that does happen occasionally at least.

      1. Heh…there was video of me doing insanely drunken shit during that blackout period (video is gone, it’s been years since then), as well as a completely illegibly written note that I left for this girl at the house where we were partying (I couldn’t read the note, yet I had a vaguely disquieting feeling that it was better that it was illegible). And yet…absolutely no memory of doing any of it. Some anesthetics reportedly can recreate this effect. All I can say is that it was a true blackout as they describe it in myths and legends. You’ll just have to take my word that it can happen, I guess.

  4. Uh, wow, it’s simply astonishing that anyone could truly believe that blackouts are nothing more than a construction of the mind to somehow excuse undesirable behavior. Believing such a theory requires denial of scientific evidence of the brain functions behind the blackout phenomenon. Blackouts aren’t a mystery, at least not to neurologists. You can’t just pretend that a well studied brain malfunction is just someone faking it. That’s absurd.

    Your notion of blackouts as make believe doesn’t hold up to even the slightest amount of scrutiny. Are you aware that former alcoholics may continue to have occasional blackouts? Did you know that bipolar people may also have blackouts? People blackout doing the most mundane of things.

    Dismissing blackouts is foolish and dangerous.

  5. Wow, just because you wake up frequently with a hangover, sore ass, tutu around your waist, after being a bottom for forty-two guys who’s names you can’t remember doesn’t mean blackouts do not exist. If you don’t want to remember such a night, I certainly understand. However, your fictional rantings are only taken as truth by you.
    I have had blackouts when quietly drinking alone at home. Nothing to be ashamed of there. I have had them after just a few drinks, and after buckets full of booze. I am sure others can confirm this as well.
    Near the end of my drinking you couldn’t tell when they would happen. Alcohol is a CNS depressant, just because a mechanism for these memory losses has not been elucidated, does not mean they do not exist.
    Maybe when you stop thinking you are the “end all and be all,” the font of all knowledge, you will be able to listen to the truth. Personally, after reading the fictions you post here, I am not holding out much hope.

    1. First of all I remember every minute. Secondly it was 44 (but who’s counting). Thirdly, the blackout was only because you guys didn’t give me enough time to release after the douche. What did you expect? Sorry I guess I’m just too irresistible. (Or maybe you’re just a bunch of alkies!)

      Anyway, thank you for the lillies! I’m admiring them now. You are such a sweet little man. xoxo 🙂

      Also thank you for correcting my theory of Addiction. You had blackouts while quietly drinking at home? Are you sure it wasn’t just a nap? Well I’ll trust your ability to accurately characterize an unconscious state while drunk and unconscious. Oh well, back to the drawing board….

      1. As usual, moronic. I didn’t characterize it while it was happening, oh stupid one, but understood it for what it was after. Because I couldn’t remember what happened.
        And I wouldn’t associate with a nasty piece of work like you, drunk or sober.
        Lastly, the flowers. Certainly not from me. Bet you can’t remember who they are from, can you?
        I hope you are making all your nice new friends use protection.

  6. Great blog then you write this mess about blackouts. I never really drank(heroin was my drug) and everytime I drink to excess I blackout. No memory at all what happened all night.

    1. Huh? You never really drank but you drank to blackout? I don’t follow. But anyway, just look at what you did during your blackout (even if you don’t remember, someone must have told you, or you must have found evidence). Then you’ll know why you’d want to forget. Homo aggression? Sex with fat chicks? You tell me.

      1. What she meant, stupid, is that drinking wasn’t her “drug” of choice, but that she blacked out when she did drink to excess.
        I sometimes think you need to hire an “English as a second language” interpreter. Obtuse…and you have the nerve to chide others for their reading comprehension.

  7. You’re wrong about this. I like your deconstruction of the addict myth; I think there are a lot of avenues on this blog worth pursuing, but this is just dumb. I rode a motorcycle home once in a blackout (I believe in guardian angels, incidentally). I’ve lost cars because I couldn’t remember where I parked them. I’ve woken up in compromising situations that go far, far beyond “being ashamed of making out with the fat chick,” or whatever your trite theory is. I think you have a lot of interesting ideas that are worth serious consideration, but this particular article exposes YOU as an armchair _______ (perhaps the equivalent of your mythological addict), because blackouts happen. Don’t ever tell me that they do not. This article discredits your blog.

    1. Thanks for your comment and I’m glad you appreciate the ideas on the site even if you disagree with them.

      But I think your comment proves my point about blackouts. You don’t remember them precisely because you don’t want to because they were very “compromising”. Furthermore, if you simply look at what happened, then you will know why you drink to excess — to engage in exactly that activity. For example, closet homo? Creating fodder for your creative writing career? You tell me.

      As for losing a car, I often forget exactly where I parked my car. And that’s when I’m sober. Losing a car when drunk does not prove blackout. As for not remembering your motorcycle ride, perhaps you fell asleep and your friends drove you home. Or perhaps you struck a pedestrian and prefer not to remember. Certainly these are more scientific explanations than “I blacked out and angels guided me home.”

      Our understanding of addiction is based entirely on the subjective reports of self-professed liars and believers in supernatural absurdities. Hmmm.

      1. Wow, more totally untethered, schizoid fantasy. Do you have any real evidence for things you say, or is it all anecdotal? Even in the post about Carl Hart, you disagree with some of his conclusions, and twist others to your own purpose. And a BTW, the Hart experiment was poorly designed according to your own account. I see nowhere that it was blind. This is so important to prevent “researcher contamination.” You know, where they unconsciously pass along their biases. Of course you do, all of your posts are based on you biases, with no evidence.
        Real scientific evidence is based on properly designed experiments wich can meet rigorous standards of statistical analysis and peer review. Theories are accepted or rejected based on these principles. We have these safeguards so that peoples’ opinions don’t end up being accepted as scientific fact.
        The Hart study sounds like another observational one, the weakest kind in terms of evidentiary value. Why don’t you give it a rest?
        Then there is your hooting and hollering about how 12 Step programs are killing people, the predatory activities, etc.
        To repeat, since you don’t seem to get it, “show me the statistics.”
        Unless you can demonstrate that these are occuring at a higher rate than in the general population, then your assertions fall into the category of opinion and anecdote. I know you will snivel that since these programs are anonymous that it is hard to obtain statistical evidence. That, however, is your burden, pal. In science, as in debate, the guiding principle here is: “He who asserts must prove.” A few celebrity AA/NA failures and your personal, non-scientific conclusions do not constitute proof.
        Put up or shut up…

      2. You are simply incorrect. It’s as simple as that. You can comment all you want and claim you are correct, but all that is doing is making you look less and less credible. The fact of the matter is that people black out even when they DO NOT involve themselves in compromising situations. That alone dismisses your entire “theory”. Even if that did not dismiss your theory, it’s a fact that alcohol disturbs the NMDA receptors in the brain, which in turn can cause events to never be transferred to the long-term memory. It doesn’t happen to everyone, and scientists are still not 100% certain as to why it happens to some and not others, but is generally considered genetically linked. Just because YOU don’t experience true blackouts, does not mean they don’t exist for others. It’s a common misconception that blackouts are not “real”, a misconception typically upheld by those who have never truly experienced a real, genuine blackout.

        Blackouts are quite real, and can be reproduced even without alcohol, but alcohol is certainly potent enough to cause a blackout. You can also do so by putting a pilot in the subterfuge…you can even recreate a so-called “NDE” (near death experience). Those have been shown to be nothing more than elaborate blackouts with dream-like states that are recorded by memory.

        The brain is incredibly fragile.

        Stop projecting your own psychological inadequacies on others. Just because you are a weak pervert who requires alcohol to release your inhibitions, and then likes to distance himself form the memory of those situations, does not mean all of us are so weak in our constitution.

        You need to spend more time actually researching the science behind concepts, and less time blathering on, spreading falsehoods.

    1. Really, Patr, have you no self respect? A sycophant to a jackass like AddictionMoron? And you two have the nerve to assert the rest of us cannot think for ourselves!
      Or are you just AddictionMoron’s pseudonym?

  8. You are naive to believe blackouts are only to cover mis-actions. I blacked out the first time I drank at age 12. I did not have the capacity to hold a lot of alcohol at that age. I wonder if it came from my mother who drank excessively while I was in her womb. Regardless I blacked out often as the alcoholism progressed. Why don’t you try finding out about the topic you are trying to comment about? What makes you an expert? Do you really believe that promiscuity is the reason for meth use in gays. You are very mis informed.

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